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I'm all about keeping it real and it's time for us to face some facts.  We're not getting any younger, the kids have all moved out, the ex-husband is just a distant memory and it's finally time to take care of yourself . The question must be asked: what are you looking for in a man? Definitely not a clone of your ex!  So let's take a moment and prioritize, make a list of all the things you're looking for in a man. And just remember, George Clooney is not available.

•    BE REALISTIC: This is the first and most important point. After all, you are talking about a (hu)man! There’s no genie in a bottle to grant your 3 wishes. If you set your standards too high, you are only guaranteeing one thing:  you will end up alone.

•    Write a list of the qualities you are looking for in a man. (see above: Be Realistic). Re-read each item and ask yourself: can anyone really have all of these qualities and not be a robot?

•    Money Can’t Buy You Love. But it can help! Again, set realistic expectations. As long as he can pay his bills, take you out for a nice meal, buy you some flowers once in a while and doesn’t dress like a bum, you might have hit the “love jackpot!”

•    Beach Bod vs. Dad Bod. Decide what is right for you. Do you look like a super model? No? OK but maybe you like to work out. Then find someone who shares your passion. If your idea of exercise is the walk from the couch to the fridge, proceed accordingly.

•    Don’t judge a man by the car he drives. Who cares if he drives a BMW or a Prius? Actually the Prius shows that he cares about the environment. Not lecturing here, but this is a good thing.  If you really care about such materialistic things as being seen in a B-mer, perhaps it’s time to get your priorities in order.

•    Check your list. If being spiritual or religious is a priority for you, then make sure you are in the right places to meet someone with common beliefs. After all, that’s why websites like and were invented in the first place.

•    Manners matter. At least they do if you want to be seen out in public with your man.  You should want to be with someone who treats you well, is polite, not controlling and definitely not on his way to anger management class.

•    Do your friends like him? Your girlfriends will give it to you straight and if they are all seeing something you’re not, might be time to ask again: what do you want in a man?


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